And so the next one fails…

I was driving down roads with no shoulder, praying through each stop light…”please stay green”. The car would run smooth, then sputter. Smooth…sputter sputter. I didn’t know the way home well enough to find a reliable gas station, and so I hoped one would come into view soon. It was a tough day overall, and the weather was boasting 90° and high humidity. Of course today would be the day my car would die.

I finally came upon some familiar territory, and realized that Grace Church, where we spent all of last year, was just a mile up the road. I thanked Jesus that a piece of home was almost within sight, and willed my car to make it the last few few hundred yards. I pulled into the parking lot and found some shade and waited for my knight in shining armor to arrive and help me home.

As I waited, my mind was at war. I had a rough day at work and just wanted to be home to watch Downton Abby all night with Luke. Car troubles would set us back financially, emotionally, and mentally. We had just fixed the truck about two weeks ago after that was down and out. Now our reliable Camry was a question mark. This sounded like a good time to shed some tears.

But like I said, my mind was at war. Hasn’t Jesus just blessed me with an incredible new job? Hasn’t he done more miraculous things in our lives than we can count? Isn’t it true that we’ve been pressing into prayer more than we ever have in our 8 years of marriage? Isn’t it true that we’ve already seen the fruit? 

And so the battle went on. Luke met me at Grace, and he drove the Camry as I followed in our beloved red pickup. Windows open, hot wind whipping, the humidity caused an instant sweat. And still the battle went on. The battle between blessing and discomfort. What I know versus what I felt in that moment. Emotion fighting against knowledge.

By the time we got home, my mind was made up. This would not be a circumstance that would rule me. This situation would not be allowed to undermine my faith in Jesus. We have been in worse places than this…way worse…and we had made it through and He had been faithful. In the light of what I know of His character, this is a small thing. If we are down to one car for a day, or a year, this is a small thing, and Jesus is faithful through it all. 

I know there will be more battles that force me to fight to keep my faith alive, but I am thankful that this is one I was able to make it out on the other side of – still standing. Faith is one of the hardest things to keep. It’s hard to continue to trust in Jesus when there is opposition on so many sides. So I am thankful for this win and this opportunity to flex that muscle and gain a little bit more strength. 

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