Planting seeds

Dear Friend,

What are you putting your time and effort into? What seeds are you planting? Every day you are planting, watering, and fertilizing to help them grow. At some point, you – and everyone else – will be able to see the fruits of your labor. What are those fruits going to be?

It’s necessary for us to begin to realize the importance of what we spend our time on. Some things are extremely worth while, and others are not. Are you taking care of your home, caring for your family, working hard at your job, loving your spouse, studying the Word, and putting others before yourself? That fruit will show. Are you comparing yourself to others, thinking only about yourself, neglecting the things and people God has given you, and watching TV as life goes on around you? That fruit will also show.
I’ve begun to see fruit in my life that I don’t really like:

• Depression – Ignoring the Lord and neglecting to seek Him

• Weight gain – Stress eating to make myself feel better

• Purposelessness – Spending too much time on time-wasters that distort my perspective

I found the root of my depression was in my insecurities about the things of God. I had deep, theological questions but felt I had nowhere to ask them. Everyone was so busy, even in the church, and I didn’t want to add to the burden they already had to bear. But after hitting rock bottom and admitting I needed help, the Lord started to give me resources. He urged me to open up to a couple friends. He sparked conversations with my mom and mother in law. He gave me understanding as I read the Bible. Within a week my joy was returned, my anxiety all but gone, and I was restored to my Lord. The seeds I need to be continuing to plant and nurture are done in the simple act of spending time with God. I cannot be in relationship without Him, and I cannot know Him except through prayer and study of His word.

Weight gain is something I’m just starting to fight, because although it feels like none of my habits have changed, I’ve gained 10 pounds in the last couple months. I was at my all-time low, and then whoosh – weight gain. Not in a sudden, scary, medical way, and not in the way of pregnancy, but I think my guard has been let down and I’ve allowed food to become too important and too delicious for me. I’m only just now starting to take some steps to right this. A large Campfire Mocha or a small, nonfat Mocha? A box of Mac’N’Cheese or a few slices of deli meat and an apple? The seeds I need to be planting and nurturing are those of physical discipline and taking each daily decision seriously.

Purposeless and time wasters…this one was huge for me. The fruit it bore was neglecting my dogs, husband, and spending hours at a time looking at other peoples lives. It left me without energy to do vital things because they now felt meaningless – like doing the dishes and keeping my house clean. Even cooking and playing with my dogs felt like it wasn’t worth anything. It took going to historic Fort Snelling and seeing the simplicity of the lives they lived to push me over the edge. They did not live a meaningless life. It was full, rich, and done with the community they lived with. That night I permanently deleted my Facebook account. The daily seeds I need to plant and nurture regard my perspective on daily tasks in life, and the relationships that I am in in my family and immediate community in my town.

In the secret place of your home, what are you doing every day? Can you see the fruits of the decisions you’re making? Are they good? My own motivation has been at an all time low, but I have a goal. It’s my daily decisions that will either push me further away, or another step closer.

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