Fear of being known

Over the past three and a half years, I’ve developed an infatuation for the written word. I’ve fallen in love with the way it looks and feels to have my internal thoughts processed out in front of me, for the whole world to see.

I’m not afraid of being vulnerable. To a point. I’m not afraid of who reads my posts. To a point. I’m not afraid of everyone knowing my deepest darkest secrets. Ok, that’s simply not true.

You see, I have a fear of being known. I want to be known as a successful writer, with my articles being seen by people across the globe, but I don’t want anyone to actually sneak their way into the daily life that I lead. Unlike my website, Facebook, or Twitter page, it’s the place where I can no longer act as if I have it all figured out. Those sites see the revelation after the processing, the answer after all the unanswered prayers, and the cleanliness after hours of cleaning. They don’t see the pain, sweat, and tears I had to endure to get there. But even though I have fears, I think I need a group of people who are willing to see that side of my life. I need to know that I can make it, despite the mess I am. Isn’t that a hidden, secret longing most of us have?

As time has gone by, I’ve become desperate for a community of writers. I need people who get writing. I need people to encourage, challenge, and pray for me. I’ve even felt a desire growing inside of me to encourage other writers in their journey. My fellow writers aren’t my competition – as if I could speak life and truth to the entire world – I want to pray for and see them as they truly are: my sisters and brothers. We all have a different message to share; we have experiences that can encourage different groups of people. I want to see them through to the other side. I want to see them make it.

And so, I’ve jumped. I’ve found an online group through (in)courage, and I have to say at about a week into it, I’m feeling less and less alone in the writing journey. There is something beautiful about joining together with other people who share a common goal.

Community groups. Small groups. Whatever you may call them, they play an important role in our lives. Things are about to get real. Are you ready?


If you’re feeling the same way about writing, or about any of the other many topical groups available, check out (in)courage community groups. (They open up the groups every few months.) I think we will be surprised, refreshed, and encouraged at the outcome.



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