the impossibility of “settling”…

I love the way God moves in our lives. For my husband and I, it’s almost as if God refuses to let us get into a mentality of “settling”. Maybe it’s not even in the physical sense as much as he never wants us to stop bending our ear towards heaven. He never wants us to stop looking to him for provision.

Even now, every time we feel like we are ready to put the breaks on because the next adventure is years away, he packs our bags and pushes us out the door. No maps or clues are given as to the end destination, but simply a walkie-talkie and a promise that in every leg of the journey he goes before us and promises provision.

I want to share with you a revelation I had over a year ago…

March, 2012
Earlier this week, I met with my mentor on my lunch break. She told me about all God was doing in her life, and how she was facing the unknown but trusting in God for everything. It rocked me. On my drive back to work, I was forced to face my own trust in God…

God, I don’t believe you are going to come through for us. My heart has been broken so many times. I believe that you will fail.

It hurt me to say this, and I hate writing it now, but it was the truth.

Later, while I was back at work, my mind would not slow down. I went into the bathroom, sat down, and prayed. It was incredible…

I got this picture of me walking through the woods. I was going full stride, and taking everything on as it came. In that picture God was behind me, and all I cared to do was to yell back and say “Keep up, God! This is where we’re going!”.

As I sat and prayed, I realized my error with vivid clarity and conviction.

In my minds eye, I stopped walking, turned around, and got behind God. I bowed down on my knees and told him that it’s his turn to lead. I cried and said I was sorry, and that no matter how slow or how fast he wants to go, I will follow. If he goes over obstacles that are bigger than me, or through something that looks perilous, I’ll know he can get me through it. I will go, because he will go before me.

If I am leading, I am walking as fast as I can and taking the best route I know to the best possible destination. I don’t know what lies ahead…maybe a bear? A river? A desert? I am ill prepared. God sees what’s ahead and can try to tell me to stop, slow down, change direction, or turn around, but the odds of me listening are so slim because I am convinced that I know the way there. I am convinced that the destination I have in mind is the best possible destination. God may have a different destination entirely.

When God is in the lead, most of the time the journey wont make sense. He takes us to places we have never been before. We easily get confused and stop completely, or even wander off on our own because his way becomes too hard and we feel too out of control. He wants me to understand he really does know where he is headed! It is a journey he wants to make with me. He knows the best way, the safest trail, the most beautiful view. All we have to do is follow, keep up, communicate, and trust.

With him in the lead, it changes everything. The impossible no longer exists. I just need to follow.

Our God is so amazing. So loving. So compassionate. But he is also a warrior who will protect, avenge, and fight for me. I am so glad that he is now in the lead.

 

Psalm 37:23

The LORD directs the steps of the godly.
He delights in every detail of their lives.

Psalm 24:7-10

Open up, ancient gates! Open up, ancient doors, and let the King of glory enter. Who is the King of glory? The Lord, strong and mighty; the Lord, invincible in battle. Open up, ancient gates! Open up, ancient doors, and let the King of glory enter. Who is the King of glory? The Lord of Heaven’s Armies— he is the King of glory.

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